Translation: Chelly
Editing/Proofreading: Henry, Scarlet
Chapter 2
Feeling nervous, I rang the intercom.
The few seconds until the response felt like tens of minutes.
With a click, a voice came from the intercom.
“Yes?”
Hearing the sluggish voice, I straightened up.
“Oh, um, it’s Yuu Okita. Mao-san told me to come…”
When I said that, a flustered voice burst from the intercom.
“Huh?! Y-Yuu-kun?! I thought Mao-san was coming…”
I clicked my tongue internally.
She could’ve at least told me if she had gone with that.
Frantically, I came up with an excuse.
“Ah, something came up, and Mao-san had to go to a meeting…so I came instead…”
“Huh?! Why would she send you…?”
Ah.
Anju still doesn’t know I’ve become Mao-san’s assistant. But why hasn’t she been told about it?
I felt like clutching my head.
“Oh, wait a moment! I’ll open the door right away.”
Despite my sudden visit, she seemed very welcoming. I’m in awe of her kindness.
I’ll definitely have a word with Mao-san later.
The front door opened with a click.
Anju was dressed in a thin black sweater and a beige frill skirt. I found myself unable to resist staring at her.
In my mind, I recalled the image of a certain idol scratching her back in a T-shirt.
Such contrast…
“Sorry for the wait! Come on in!”
“Hello. Um…is it really okay for me to come in?”
Anju looked at me, bewildered.
“It would be rude not to invite a guest inside, wouldn’t it?”
“Oh, I mean… Okay…”
Thinking it was a bit much to barge in and be treated like a guest, but feeling it would be strange to refuse, I accepted her offer.
“Sorry for intruding…”
“Yes, come in…”
Anju cheerfully took out the guest slippers and set them down for me.
I bowed my head as I removed my shoes and changed into the slippers.
The room had a pleasant smell.
It was a smoky yet sweet scent.
Seeing me sniffing around, Anju laughed.
“Oh, sorry. I’m burning some incense. Is it bothering you?”
“Incense?”
“Yeah, that’s right! If it’s bothering you, I can put it out and ventilate the room!”
Anju pointed to what looked like a stick of incense, smoking.
“Oh, no! It smells nice. I’m fine with it…”
“Really? Great! Oh, I’ll make some tea. Barley or jasmine? I can make either hot or cold.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me…”
“Hmm, cold barley tea it is, then. It’ll just take a minute!”
I was entirely treated as a guest and felt somewhat guilty. Still, I couldn’t refuse, so I accepted Anju’s hospitality.
Once she had made tea for both of us, we sat across from each other at the dining table. Steam was gently rising from her dainty teacup.
“I’ve been into jasmine tea lately. It’s so soothing.”
“I see…”
“Ah, sorry. I’m just rambling, aren’t I?”
“No, not at all…!”
My nervousness made it difficult for me to respond to her.
Despite my familiarity with Akira, the thought of being alone with a favorite idol remains exceptionally daunting.
Seeing how stiff I was, Anju tilted her head slightly.
“Are you nervous?”
“I am…”
“Why?”
“Well, because…it’s not every day that I get to be in the house of my favorite idol…”
Anju blinked a few times and then burst out laughing.
“You’re such a cutie, Yuu-kun!”
“No, that’s…um…”
“I’m just an ordinary person now, you don’t have to worry so much.”
She spoke in jest, yet her words struck a chord of pain within my heart.
“U-um… about that?”
“Hmm? What is it?”
Anju narrowed her eyes slightly.
She was still smiling, but somehow, the atmosphere felt different. It made me wary.
“You’ve heard from Mao-san, right?”
Anju, while keeping her gentle smile, slightly tilted her head to the other side.
“Heard…what?”
“That Akira…wants to get Ripqle back together.”
Anju lowered her gaze, lifted her teacup, and sipped her jasmine tea.
Then she sighed and nodded.
“Yeah…I’ve heard.”
Her response sent a chill down my spine.
Although her smile was still in place, I could tell her heart was closed. It felt as if her short response had shut out everything I was about to say.
“Uh…um…”
Anju chuckled as I stuttered.
“…Mao-san asked you to sway me, didn’t she?”
“Um…no…”
“Mao-san’s really cruel, huh? Making someone who’s not good with girls do something like this. Especially knowing I have a soft spot for a guy like you.”
“Huh?”
At my shocked expression, Anju snickered and shook her head.
“I don’t mean it like that, of course.”
“Oh, well… I thought so…”
“I’m just…not really into assertive types. You know, those people who come at you hard. Muscular, flashy…spends their days off at the gym. Guys like that. You know what I mean?”
“Um…I guess so…”
“You’re not like that, right, Yuu-kun? You’re someone who constantly worries about how others might feel… That’s probably why Mao-san sent you to me.”
Then Anju fixed her gaze on me.
“So, what will you do? Will you try to convince me?”
She said provokingly.
I took a slow, deep breath.
She saw through me. She anticipated my move.
There’s no point in trying to persuade her. That’s what she’s saying.
At least not as things stand.
I took another deep breath.
“You know that Akira…worked hard for you, right?”
When I said that, Anju slowly lowered her head.
“Yeah, I know. Akira-chan succeeded in her plan…”
She nodded repeatedly.
“That girl… She always manages to pull off.”
Her words were calm yet heavy.
The room fell into silence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw smoke puffing out from the incense.
“I know… She did it for my sake. But…I’m sure it wasn’t just for me but also for her.”
“…That’s probably true.”
I nodded.
“I don’t want an idol path[1] where one can’t advance without using someone as a stepping stone.”
Akira said that before.
Sure, her condemnation resulted from her desire to get Anju to come back, but it was also undoubtedly a by-product of her wish to continue being an idol with dignity.
Anju understood this.
“…Don’t you think I’m unnecessary?”
After a long silence, she spoke.
“…Huh?”
“Don’t you think I’m unnecessary in her idol path?”
Closing her eyes, Anju murmured in a calm demeanor.
Then slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at me.
I gasped.
The depths of her gaze were incredibly dark.
It was a despair-filled and lightless stare resulting from confronting the harsh reality.
Her face displayed a serene look, revealing her complete resignation.
“Wh-why would you say such a thing…?!”
“Akira-chan has already risen to stardom. She’s doing fine without me; it’s always been that way.”
“That’s not…! If Ripqle had just kept going, you’d surely—”
“Do you really believe that?”
Anju cut me off.
“Imagine this: if Akira-chan had debuted as a solo artist from the start, what would have happened? Do you think anything would have changed? Do you think she would have gone unnoticed without me?”
I was left speechless.
She gently looked at me as I opened and closed my mouth, trying to find the words to say.
“I don’t think so. I was always the one holding her back.”
“But—”
“There’s no ‘but.’ Akira-chan can shine all on her own.”
She said firmly with a bitter smile on her face.
It was frustrating.
I know where Anju is coming from.
Even if Akira had debuted alone, she would have risen to stardom just as she has now. Her success wasn’t due to being part of a duo. Her performances were extraordinary, and her fan service was impeccable compared to anyone else.
She naturally became a top idol; an achievement everyone thinks she deserves.
But that’s not all there is to it.
As a fan, I believe there was a unique brilliance that could only be emitted by the two together.
However, I don’t possess words powerful enough to penetrate the thick wall Anju has erected.
Her behavior over time has led me to this conclusion. Despite her calm demeanor, I could sense her strong determination.
“I made a promise with Akira-chan.”
Anju spoke thoughtfully.
“A promise…?”
“Yes, a promise.”
She squinted and smiled as if reminiscing about the old days.
“That I wouldn’t hold her back. That we’d become number one together.”
“Then…then that promise is still—”
“I was pulling her leg.”
Anju’s eyes were devoid of light when she interrupted me.
I was at a loss for words.
“Akira-chan said she’d kill me if I broke our promise.”
“K-kill…?”
“Yeah. Haha… Seriously, she said it with such a scary face. I thought she would swallow me whole.”
“So…you made such a promise…”
“Yeah, we did. That promise was meant to show my resolve. But when it came down to it, I just couldn’t do it. I was always a step behind Akira-chan. Always holding her back. Eventually, I got caught up in backstage shenanigans, and I quit. I broke my promise.”
She paused for a moment before letting out a faint chuckle.
“I broke my promise, yet here I am, still alive.”
“She couldn’t have been serious about killing you.”
“But that was our deal. I was ready to be killed by her.”
Anju said without any hint of jest.
“That being said, Akira-chan couldn’t keep her end of the bargain either. Instead of killing me, she’s trying to pull me back. She doesn’t need to do that; she can get by on her own. In the end, she let her emotions sway her.”
Something about her words sounded disappointed. It made my heart ache.
She acknowledged that Akira had risked herself to expose the truth for her.
Yet, I had a sense she was glossing over the gravity of the situation.
If not, she wouldn’t use the phrase“trying to pull me back.”
“Akira wouldn’t desperately try to bring back someone she doesn’t need!”
Anju’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Her dream, even now, is to be at the top with you! She never stops talking about wanting to perform live at the Budokan with you! And yet…”
I couldn’t finish my sentence.
She was staring at me, clearly dumbfounded. I blushed, embarrassed by my sudden outburst.
However, what disturbed me more was that I had almost condemned someone forced to leave the idol industry due to unfortunate circumstances beyond her control. This realization sent a chilling shiver down my spine.
Anju suddenly burst out laughing.
“Hahaha!”
“Uh, um… I’m sorry…”
“No, it’s okay. You really care about Akira-chan, don’t you?”
Her heartfelt words made my face flush hotter.
“You’re…really kind.”
She told me, looking deep into my eyes.
“Because you’re so kind, I’m sure you see me in a very positive light. That’s heartening.”
“It’s not that. It’s just that…I’ve been following your career closely…”
“You know…”
Anju cut in.
“…In all honesty, I didn’t actually run away from the idol industry.”
“…Huh?”
She moved her hand from the table and placed it on her lap, straightening her posture as she met my gaze.
I felt as if I was being drawn into the depths of her eyes.
Slowly, she spoke her next words.
“I ran away from…Akira-chan.”
I gasped at her confession.
There’s only one meaning behind those words. Faced with a truth that could be spun no other way, I was left stunned.
“I thought I had the resolve. I made a promise, so I thought I could see it through. I gave it my all. I did my best to continue standing beside Akira-chan… I really did…”
Her voice trembled as she continued.
“But it wasn’t enough. There was a difference in talent between us that no amount of effort could bridge. What I thought was my ‘resolve’ had turned into ‘obsession’. I believed I was the only one who could stay beside Akira-chan, and I had to strive tirelessly to maintain that position. But amid my frantic struggles…”
As Anju said that, she lifted her face to look at me, her eyes growing with tears.
“I found myself trapped next to her.”
Each time she faced an interview, her words remained constant, “I’m thrilled to be with Akira-chan!”
Whenever I heard this declaration, my mind would echo, “She must truly relish standing alongside Akira. What an incredible duo they present!”
Yet, the truth was starkly different.
“When I was approached for the backdoor hostessing job, I thought, ‘So that’s all I’m worth, huh…’ I felt stigmatized. But then…”
Anju wiped the tears brimming in the corner of her eyes with her finger and smiled.
“It felt incredibly…liberating.”
The way she smiled made my heart feel constricted.
Maybe that was the moment she gave up on her dream.
“You’ve seen the video the Buntou journalist took, right?”
“…Yes.”
“It looked like I was being forced to do the hostessing job, and everyone naturally thought that’s what happened. But….”
Seeing where the story was going, I wanted to block my ears halfway through Anju’s words. I wanted to yell at her to stop.
But she continued talking.
“Up until the last moment, I was considering just going through with it and heading to the hotel.”
“You shouldn’t say things like that!”
I couldn’t hold it any longer and yelled.
She shook her head slowly.
“It’s the truth.”
“But you refused, didn’t you?”
“That’s because…I was thinking about Akira-chan.”
Anju sniffled, pulling a tissue from the box on the table. She then used it to wipe the finger that had previously brushed away her tears.
With her tears seemingly under control, she continued.
“I thought…if it became known that I was involved in that sort of thing, it wouldn’t leave Akira-chan unscathed. I didn’t want to drag her down till the end. I came back to my senses at the last moment.”
“If you care that much about her, then…!”
“I do care about her! But I can’t go back now!”
Anju’s scream petrified me.
She looked like she was about to cry again.
“While I remained still, Akira-chan kept moving forward. She’s already far away. Knowing that I’ve been inferior to her since the beginning, how could I possibly hope to catch up and stand by her side…?!”
Looking down, Anju expressed her feelings in a strained voice.
“Our time of chasing our shared dream is over. I was the one who ended it.”
I had no words to respond to her admission.
I don’t know how to peel away the resigned feeling that clung to her heart and restore her to her former self as an idol.
I’m not even sure if I should do that.
Her determination was firm. That much was clear.
“That’s why…Yuu-kun.”
She lifted her head and smiled as calmly as ever.
“I can’t go back to Ripqle.”
With that, she took a sip of her jasmine tea and sighed.
“Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it. Give my regards to Mao-san, will you?”
“…Okay.”
All I could do was nod.
Glancing downward, I noticed Anju gradually rise to her feet. Gently, she placed her hand on my head.
I jolted.
She briefly pulled her hand back as if taken aback but then touched my head again.
“Don’t make that face. Your great oshi is going to keep shining brighter, you know.”
At those words, I felt something warm gushing deep inside my chest.
“Please keep supporting Akira-chan from here on out.”
Is this really the end?
But shouldn’t you—Anju—be by Akira’s side?
Hasn’t it always been that way?
Such sentiments welled up, and I couldn’t stop them.
“But I…”
My eyes heated up.
As I looked at Anju, I desperately held back my tears.
She froze, her surprised eyes fluttering as she looked back at me.
“But I…wanted to see the two of you together…at the Budokan…”
At my words, her eyes widened, and then they quickly became moist.
“W-wait… Jeez…”
She jokingly said, “Stop it,” while hastily pulling out a few tissues to wipe her eyes.
“Haha, I’m a lucky person to have someone say that to me.”
“It’s not like that… I…”
Anju’s hand covered my mouth before I could continue.
Slowly, she shook her head.
“Please. I’m easily swayed.”
“…Mmph!”
“So…”
She gently smiled.
“Don’t say stuff like that anymore.”
Tears spilled from the corner of my eyes.
Anju laughed awkwardly and wiped my tears with a tissue.
“Anyway! Tell me about Akira-chan. She’s a mess in private, isn’t she? But when she gets on stage, she shines so brightly, it’s just irresistible!”
She blatantly changed the subject and talked excitedly.
After that, we continued our conversation, focusing on mundane topics about Akira until we called it a day.
I was skeptical from the start about my chances of persuading Anju, especially considering that Mao-san had already tried and failed.
Even so, I thought that if I could help, even if it was just a little bit…
Well, that hope had been utterly crushed.
Anju had already made up her mind.
There was no room left for us to convince her.
On my way home, filled with a sense of hopelessness, my phone vibrated.
I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was a call from Mao-san.
“Hello?”
“Yuu-kun? Are you on your way home?”
“Yes.”
“How did it go?”
“…No good. She doesn’t seem to have any intention of returning. Her resolve is firm.”
I heard a pronounced sigh from the other end of the call.
“So you failed too, huh… I thought that at least you might be able to get through to her.”
I didn’t understand why she would think that, but I had no desire to bring up the matter.
“Well, that’s fine for today. There’s always a next time.”
“…There’s no ‘next time.’ I don’t see her bending when she’s this adamant.”
“You’re so naive. There are ways adults handle these things!
“What…?”
“If one thing fails, try another! Don’t give up until you’ve exhausted all options!”
“How can that be exclusively for adults…?”
“Don’t sweat the details! Just get ready for the next move! Drop by the office, will you?”
“…Right now?”
“Yes! No objections allowed! See you!”
The call ended abruptly.
Annoyed, I glared at my smartphone before stuffing it back into my pocket.
As always, she only says what she wants and doesn’t listen to others. She’s so much like Akira.
So Mao-san hasn’t given up yet.
Part of me felt encouraged by this, but after hearing Anju’s heartfelt confession, I couldn’t help but think about the burden this relentless pursuit could impose on her.
Mao-san is, after all, acting for Akira’s sake.
I wonder if Anju’s feelings are considered.
Is it truly beneficial to bring her back, not just for Ripqle, but ultimately for Akira and Anju themselves?
Honestly, I have my doubts.
With these thoughts nagging at me, I headed toward the FairPro office.
[1] Aidorudou (literally, “the way of the idol,” translated in this fan translation as “idol path”) is a common term in Japanese idol culture. It’s usually used to describe the journey or process that someone goes through to become an idol, or the lifestyle and discipline of being an idol.
After Sleep Club 